I would say good morning but I hate to start the day with a lie

This may sound lazy but can someone come clean my computer screen?

Great. I have an hour to lose 40 lbs

“Hey let’s serve our coffee at 5,000 degrees and burn everyone’s tongue!” - John Starbuck to Sue Starbuck

I’ve never tried Responsibly but everyone keeps telling me to please drink it.

I like to think of myself as the Martha Stewart of slobs.

I’m so rocking this outfit. Well, people are throwing rocks at me. Same thing.